Aries: stop jackin off
Taurus: hoe and not ashamed of it
Cancer: crybaby ass
Leo: BIG Bitch and u fuckin kno it. u love it dont u.
Virgo: ethereal and always SO busy
Scorpio: u are sleepy and powerful.
Sagittarius: probably like drinkin some healthy shit. u look good as hell too.
Aquarius: clean ur fingernails
Pisces: stop bein so stingy an love urself
Containers that you keep forgetting at school and your parents keep getting angrier at you: thupperware
[boy voice] yeah i read a lot of nietzsche and hemingway, i listen to radiohead and radiohead only, pop music makes me sick, i’m all about equal rights between men and women and all but theres scientific evidence that men are better than women
|nice friend person:||hey, how've you been?|
|me:||capitalism is crushing me. i am barely surviving. i am full of toxic resentment. i want revenge.|
IF YOUR IDEA OF SATIRE IS MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE IN THE EXACT SAME WAY THAT THEY ARE ALREADY MADE FUN OF EVERY FUCKING DAY THEN YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT SATIRE MEANS
I wanna have a good Christmas this year :/